[gallery]
I know, you were worried, we were running out of time. Well fear no longer, in the closing minutes of April 1st, Mistigris was able to make good on their strange tradition (their traditional strangeness?) and release their very serious April Fool’s artpack. Filled with strange sights and even stranger sounds, you can’t get anything else like it anywhere else (, and why would you want to?)

Duo Daughters, the gauntlet is cast. Sure, you have more ANSI lying around the cutting room floor, but can you come up with a more bombastic arrangement of Bohemian Rhapsody?

All right, my droggiewogs and krattiwats, it’s been a while but you can’t
keep a good man down, or us either! It’s MIS to TI GRIS, because MISEUPHRATES
would be a little too strange even for us. We’re back in effect in 2016 –
down but not out, out but not up, up but not in, in but not inverted.
Inverted, but not upside-down! OK, I give up, keeping track of all of these
lies is too much for me: Mistigris – in effect in 2016, upside-down, with the
former contents of our collective pockets all over the floor. There, are you
vultures happy?

We have been hard at work pushing at the boundaries of computer art:
there have been several intriguing developments since our ‘90s heyday. Did
you know that there science has discovered a 17th colour? Drilling down, our
researchers discovered several more, and we look forward into harnessing their
powers in artworks of the so-called “higher resolutions”. There is, um,
potential for a marijuana joke there, but I can’t quite make it happen.

Moving right along, there are plenty of other things we can’t quite make
happen, but do we let that stop us? Hells no! And we aim to prove it,
painfully and repeatedly! There’s a lot of nasty stuff (where by nasty I mean
wicked, and by wicked, I mean terrible, and by terrible, I mean downright awful
and unpleasant and overall time-wasting) in our April artpack, always the very
apex of our annual art production schedule, with block-cocking music beats
(including a masterful rendition of an eternal classic by the manly and very
heterosexual Freddie Mercury and a song sung entirely in Klingon! mamI’
DaneH'a’? nItebHa’ mamI’ DaneH'a’?), award-winning ANSI art, textmode art
portraits of our guiding lights, our heroes, mentors and idols, epic lits of
awesome emotionality plumbing the very depths and most darkest most innermost
recesses of the insides of (ok, it’s a colonoscopy), FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN
AN ARTPACK ANYWHERE a choreographed dance routine that’s totally infectious (so
don’t forget your facemask, rubber gloves, and a dental dam!), and totally
gnarly photography. Oh yes, and hirez pieces fortified with dad jokes.

THUS demonstrating that unlike a one-trick pony like, oh, I don’t know,
the petulant upstarts at Duo Daughters (have they ever even heard of the
animated GIF? if they have, they probably pronounce it like “JIF” huh) we are
at least a two-trick… two or three… we are a tricky pony, a radical little
Shetland pony with the shaggy hooves, doing Tony Hawk moves on a little
skateboard. Go on, ask us about our Cutie mark.

In conclusion: computer art will never die! And even if it does, we at
Mistigris will never move on! And, uh, if for some reason we do, we will
always feel bad about neglecting it, in the middle of the night, pursued by
little phantom F1-4 blocks floating just outside the window. We will
castigate them publicly in the harshest terms, even though no one else will
be able to see them at all. We will be institutionalized due to what appear
to be untreated mental health issues. It will not end well for us!

- Mistigris 2016: It Will Not End Well For Us!